My professor last year in my Psychology class for children with exceptionalities taught me lessons I could apply to my life, not just things I could apply to my major. One of the things she taught me was the difference between being intelligent and being smart. She said, "Being intelligent is waking up every morning with a fifth of vodka and smoking a joint or two then walking to class, not having studied or shown up to all the classes or even opened the book, and taking the final exam and getting 100%. That's intelligence. Being smart is setting aside a couple of hours after school to study for the upcoming test that's in two weeks. It's making flashcards. It's buying other books to help you with the subject. It's making appointments with your teachers to ask questions about the material. You don't have to initially know all of the material before walking into class to be smart. You have to work your ass off and study any way that helps you get an A and absorb the material. That's being smart."
In high school, I was just intelligent. I never tried. Putting in effort to do the homework seemed monotonous and dull. Even pointless. I'd test well or do just enough work to get by. I'd wake up early to write a paper just minutes before my classes. Or I would finish it during class. When I started at Washtenaw, I put in a little more effort, but only because my parents were helping paying for it. Working only one part-time job with no extracurriculars made me bored. When I sit at home with nothing to do, I never think to myself that doing homework would be a good idea. When I sit at home with nothing to do, sitting at home sounds like a good idea. That's when I got a second job. At my retail job, I started working 35-39 hours a week, plus I took a couple more classes and still worked at the hair salon. Suddenly I had to do my homework when I was sitting at home. It was a rare time. The two hours I had to myself went to schoolwork.
Keeping busy is one way I gained motivation, but I still just float by doing the minimum to get an A- or B+. Average. One thing I hate about myself is that I'm mediocre at things. But, in my defense, it's a lot of things. I'm okay at playing the piano, I'm okay at driving, I'm okay at video games, I'm okay at math, I'm okay in science, I'm okay in social studies, I'm okay at reading, I'm okay graphic design--I'm okay at being okay. That's not okay! I want to have a passion toward something, I want to be great! Exceptional even! I know I'm great at communication and customer service, and writing. It's high time I light the fire under my butt and aim for the sky.
I say this every semester. "This semester, I'm going to finish my homework the day it's given out and study weeks in advance for tests." That never really happens. I make excuses and put it all off then just slide by. Not this time. I'm starting at Eastern this year and turning a new leaf. No more lying to myself. This is make it or break it time. I've been thinking about entering the honors program and forcing myself into motivation. I'm going to start looking into the study abroad programs and basically, I'm going to finally take initiative. No more slacking. I took two days off my work schedule and I'm going that will give me the perfect balance between work, school, and rest. I plan on getting in a routine so my sleep pattern isn't off. Eastern gave me a planner, it's like they knew! Watch out world! A new English teacher is in town, kicking ass and taking names. :)
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